Lawyer Cracks

Q: So how exactly does a pregnant woman know she's carrying a attorney?

A: She's an intense desire for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of Appeal?

A: Something someone slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes prior to lawyers?

A: To rehearse.

Q: What would you call a lawyer with an IQ of 1-2?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, polite person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, another side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?

A: An offer you can not comprehend.

Q: What can you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they only produced a fresh Barbie doll named 'Divorced Barbie'?

A: It includes half of Ken's things and alimony. Get more on our favorite partner URL by going to click here. Be taught further on our favorite related wiki - Browse this webpage: how does nerium work on skin.

Q: What's the difference between legal counsel and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the definition of mixed feelings?

A: Watching your lawyer drive over a cliff in your brand-new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the distinction between lawyers and accountants?

A: At the very least accountants know theyre boring.


1. A person who'd been caught embezzling thousands went along to a lawyer. His attorney told him, 'Dont worry. Discover additional resources about consumers by browsing our lovely article directory. Youll never visit prison with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to jail, h-e didnt have a dime. This interesting success article has limitless pictorial suggestions for where to look at it.

2. While the lawyer awoke from surgery, h-e asked, 'Why are most of the blinds drawn'? The nurse answered, 'There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you'd died.'

3. God decided to simply take the devil to judge and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, 'And where do you think you are planning to find a attorney'?

4. Legal counsel is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone arriving at the doorway. To impress his first possible customer, h-e accumulates the device since the door opens and says, 'I demand one-million and not a penny less.' As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, 'I am here to lift up your phone.'

And finally:

You May Be Considered A Attorney If.... You are charging anyone to read these jokes..