Attorney Cracks

Q: So how exactly does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a attorney?

A: She's an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What is the legal meaning of Appeal?

A: Some thing someone falls on in a supermarket.

Q: Why did God make snakes prior to lawyers?

A: To apply.

Q: What can you call a lawyer with an IQ of 1-2?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What can you call a cheerful, sober, respectful individual at a bar association meeting?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are attorneys like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, another side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with legal counsel?

A: An offer you can't comprehend.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they only produced a brand new Barbie doll named 'Divorced Barbie'?

A: It includes 1 / 2 of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What's the difference between a pit-bull and a lawyer?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the meaning of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your lawyer drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the difference between lawyers and accountants?

A: A minimum of accountants know theyre boring.

Stories:

1. Learn further on remove frames by visiting our prodound website. A guy who had been caught embezzling millions went along to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, 'Dont worry. We discovered nerium headquarters by browsing Google Books. Youll never go to jail with all that money? In-fact, when the man was delivered to prison, h-e didnt have a cent.

2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, 'Why are all the blinds drawn'? The nurse answered, 'There is a fire next door, and we didn't want you to believe you had died.'

3. God chose to simply take the devil to judge and settle their differences once and for all. Satan noticed this, laughed and said, 'And where do you think you are going to find a attorney'?

4. Legal counsel is sitting at the desk in his new office. We found out about oleander plant face cream by searching Google. He hears somebody arriving at the door. To impress his first possible client, he accumulates the device while the door opens and says, 'I demand one-million and not a dollar less.' As h-e hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, 'I'm here to hook up your phone.'

And finally:

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